


Nomaddy

by pyropinkfish



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Zer0, Gun Fucking, Multi, literally just zer0 and a nomad and a couple marauders, they/them used for zer0, zer0 gets gang banged by a group of bandits and still sasses them, zer0 might be the one getting fucked but they call the shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyropinkfish/pseuds/pyropinkfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zer0 finds themselves in a bandit camp with no backup and finds a clever way to avoid dying. Spoiler, it involves dicks. </p><p>--</p><p>“You have captured me, that's not easily achieved. What do you plan now?” Zer0 finally asked, growing easily unimpressed by being held at gunpoint when the throb of their knees began to burn. A hand from a Marauder on their shoulder pulled them up off the crate so that they could face the leader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nomaddy

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something to laugh at later with friends  
> This is a purposefully really really bad plot for inexcusable porn

The problem with sniping is that you aren’t always aware of the surrounding area behind you. With your face against the scope, sniping down midget psychos to cover your partner who’s on the ground, you don’t always notice the Nomad creeping up behind you until there is an assault rifle pointing at your back and the strict order not to move. 

Slowly, Zer0 sat their rifle down, hands raising to the air as the gun moved to the back of their head. 

“Hey there, Vault Hunter.” The Nomad laughed, calling with his hand for a couple other bandits to approach, and too quickly Zer0 found themselves being forced to stand up by the Nomad. They didn’t respond to the many taunts thrown at them, too busy looking around for the best escape route that had the least amount of guns pointed at them. They briefly wondered if Axton would notice them about to go down and could get to them in time before this Nomad shot their head clean off like a Goliath. 

Zer0 soon found themselves face first against a loot crate in some nearby shack, on their knees with a gun pressed against their neck to keep them down. Their weapons and shields had been confiscated, resting in a pile too far for Zer0 to get to unless they wanted a healthy dose of bullets and death.

Zer0 swore that they and Axton had cleared the shack before hand, but the bandits must have returned from the fields when Axton brought his turret out on the ground. Zer0 chose to snipe up on the cliff next to it, hoping to run for some cover should someone spot them. Guess that was their mistake. 

“You have captured me, that's not easily achieved. What do you plan now?” Zer0 finally asked, growing easily unimpressed by being held at gunpoint when the throb of their knees began to burn. A hand from a Marauder on their shoulder pulled them up off the crate so that they could face the leader.

“Man with the turret killed a whole lot of my men before running off. Figured he might come back for his sniper,” the Nomad started, pointing his gun at Zer0’s projected red frowning emoji. “Once he does, we’ll kill you both, take your stuff, especially that turret, and then hang your bodies up to dry like laundry and let the rakks pick at your remains.” 

“If I might suggest, something more entertaining… or more sexual” Zer0 was just about as human as the mutations calling themselves Lab Rats, but one thing they understood fully was the human man’s obsession with sexual conquering. Morals were a joke in Zer0’s book (they were an assassin who killed for fun, after all), and a decent fuck for freedom wasn’t much compared to the dishonorable things they had done in the past. 

The Nomad scoffed at first, before he began to weigh the suggestion seriously. Zer0 kept their eyes on him as he pulled out a chair and sat in it, leaning towards them with what Zer0 assumed was a smirk underneath the mask. 

“I’ll let you go if your partner comes back. Till then, have at him boys.” Hands were instantly on them. Zer0 swatted away the Marauder trying to grab them. Instead they stood and, ignoring the guns pointed at them, started to unzip their suit. The impatience of the Marauder didn’t go unnoticed, and might have been why Zer0 moved with strategical precision as to not get caught on their own clothes to the point they were just about to step out of their suit.

Fifteen seconds was apparently too much time taken. The Marauder shoved them onto the table by the Nomad leader. Annoyed and tripped up by their own feet, Zer0 grabbed the edges of the table and arched their back. The Marauder took no time to unzip himself and move up behind Zer0’s exposed backside, trying to arrange the assassin how he wanted them. 

“Hey Boss, he ain’t human,” the Marauder confirmed for the room after arching Zer0’s ass up to his groin. The greyish blue skin must have been a dead giveaway. Zer0 let out a dissatisfied groan and dug their head against the edge of the table.

“I am not human, he is right in that statement,” Zer0 snapped, “but let us move on.”

The Nomad shrugged, and snatched Zer0’s arm. He dragged the assassin on his lap and pulled off their helmet, tossing it to the floor. Zer0’s unimpressed eyes narrowed in response and the Nomad gawked. 

“Damn, what the fuck are you?” The Nomad resisted the urge to shove the alien off. 

“Not getting fucked yet.” Zer0 said, their voice higher pitched without the helmet to buffer it.

Appreciating the bluntness of the answer, the Nomad nudged them to sit on the table. With no protest, Zer0 laid back and watched as the Nomad tugged his helmet off and put it next to them. As the Nomad undid his belt and struggled to remove the pounds of armored cloth he wore, Zer0 propped themselves on their elbows and chanted “bored” over and over until the Nomad grabbed their ankle and pulled them close to the edge of the table. 

The Nomad fished his dick out, giving it a couple hasty tugs to get the blood flowing as he looked down at the assassin’s genitalia. Zer0 let out an impatient sigh and reached down to spread the soft folds of their flesh. Their middle finger worked to encourage what looked like a deep blue tendril to uncurl from within. Fully extended, it curled around Zer0’s wrist, while their fingers moved down just a little to prod open a second hole, this one oozing natural lubricant. 

“Pleasuring others must be something new to you. How unfortunate.” Zer0 started, acknowledging the confused look the Nomad had on his face. The assassin hooked their ankles around the Nomad’s waist and tugged him closer while they pulled their hand away from themselves. Encouraged enough, and figuring he’d seen weirder things, the Nomad lined his cock up to Zer0’s opening and thrusted deep. 

He grabbed onto the alien’s hips, shifting them up to get a better angle as the assassin practically purred. Zer0’s hands traveled to touch themselves while the Nomad used their body. Their eyes fluttered shut at a particularly nice thrust. They could tone out the comments of their anatomy and enjoy the brute roughness the Nomad provided as he tried to find the best angle to work with.

Once the initial shock of body differences wore off, the Nomad got into the increase of temperature and the fact that Zer0’s insides were ridged to grasp their species’ genitalia better. It didn’t take long for the Nomad to finish, pulling back from the assassin to tuck himself away. And almost instantly the original Marauder took his place with an easy slide in as the Nomad collapsed into his chair with an content grin on his face. 

“Jesus, you’re a gift,” he commented, ignoring the chatter from the other men in the room while the Marauder fucked into the assassin like an overeager puppy. The Nomad noted Zer0 didn’t seem to mind either, though they used their ankle to nudge the man down a bit. 

Zer0 turned their head towards the Nomad and let out a throaty moan, finally responding to him with a sort of amusement to their words.

“My body often craves a lot of attention. I seek out pleasure,” they said, making the Marauder grow increasingly frustrated by their talking. With the promise of getting the alien to choke on their words, his thrusts grew more frantic. 

“We never have any around here, I might just keep you.” For a lanky blue assassin that sniped out a good chunk of his men, the Nomad had to admit they had exotic looks worth keeping. 

Zer0’s ability to remain coherent for small talk was annoying the Marauders into taking turns trying to cut their conversation short with the leader. The first one came with a shout, and too soon another one pushed in their hole, working up a better rhythm at the very least. Not enough to really make the assassin see stars, but enough to make them shudder. 

“What’s your name anyway, Vault Hunter?” The Nomad mused, enjoying the frustrations of his men more than he probably should, given the source of their annoyance being some mouthy alien. 

The second Marauder gripped Zer0’s legs so tight that the skin turned white under the pressure. His thrusts made a skin slick noise that was barely masked by the chatter of the other Marauders in the room. He worked too fast, tiring himself out faster than he would have if he just enjoyed himself instead of trying to shock the assassin into choking back their own words. Alas, Zer0 was unfazed and even had the audacity to order him to go faster before continuing the pointless talk they had in progress with the Nomad. 

“They call me Zer0.” After the second Marauder came with a shaky yell, pushing Zer0 away so he could step back and tuck himself away, the alien stretched out their leg with a bored sigh as a third tried to take the last one’s place. “I like a challenge. None of your men provide one. Perhaps a gun might.” Zer0 taunted the Nomad into standing up again. 

“Get out.” He ordered to his men, waving his rifle at the Marauders. All of which reluctantly cleared the room, bitching loudly as they left the two alone. 

Zer0 sat up, eying the Nomad with caution as he offered a hand to them. They took it and were pulled to their feet, soon getting turned around to brace themselves on the table once again. Only this time the cold muzzle of the Nomad’s assault rifle nudged between their legs. Fully aware that it was loaded, Zer0 shuddered with glee. 

The cold metal inched slowly inside of them until their knees were shaking. Maybe asking for a gun to fuck them open wasn’t the best idea, but Zer0 clenched and moaned anyway. The Nomad did a damn good job of keeping a hand on their shoulder while he angled the gun deeper. Eventually the assassin’s torso sprawled over the table, arms reaching to the other side to grip as the gun moved in and out of them. 

The Nomad was anything but gentle with the gun either. He worked it slow at first, hard and deliberate in movement, but soon that turned to desperate jerky motions when he realized how fast the alien was unraveling. With a cry Zer0 came over the floor, but the Nomad didn’t stop thrusting his rifle deep in them until the alien nearly collapsed, knees buckling. 

Grinning ear to ear, the Nomad slipped his rifle out, setting it on the table. He pulled his chair back up, taking a seat so he could tug Zer0 back on his lap. The assassin flopped against his chest and panted until they caught their breath. 

The Nomad watched curiously as Zer0’s tendril-like dick retracted back into its sheath. He found himself tracing along the flesh, causing the alien to let out an oversensitive groan. He continued to curl his fingers inside them, playing with the leftover come and lubricant. Discarding it, he pulled his hand back and rubbed their hip bone instead. That was, until the sounds of gunshots outside startled him into shoving Zer0 to the floor. 

Zer0 fell with a thud on the blood stained hardwood, and, with a frown, began to tug their clothes back on as the Nomad grabbed his helmet and gun and walked towards the door with hurried strides. He didn’t have to make it far, considering it slammed open the minute Zer0 was putting their helmet back on, activating the HUD again with a smiley face emoji. 

“Leave us alone!” The Nomad growled, making Zer0 glance over to the open door. The sight of a blond ex-military greeted them. 

“Don’t shoot,” Zer0 commented, zipping their suit up properly while both the Nomad and Axton lowered their guns in confusion. 

“Jesus, Zer0, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! I had to kill three bandit camps before someone said they saw you get dragged away! What the hell happened?” Axton brought his gun back up, pointing at the Nomad.

Offended, and soon realizing who the guy was in front of him, the Nomad scoffed. “You killed my men!” 

“You took my sniper!” Axton retorted childishly. 

“Wait outside for me, I have unfinished business.” Zer0 retrieved their shield and weapons, equipping them as they spoke. 

Bewildered, Axton stepped back, knowing better than to get between Zer0 and whoever they wanted to murder. The Nomad on the other hand squinted, debating shooting the commando before the door shut behind him. 

“What do they call you?” Zer0 asked, walking towards the door behind Axton. 

The Nomad took a long pause before answering hesitantly. “Carson.” 

“I look forward to the next time that we meet, Carson. Fucking you was fun.” Zer0 flashed another smiley emoji on their screen before they walked out the door to join Axton. After all, the two had a mission to finish for Moxxi.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this within the hours of 4am to 9am and there was golden gems in my chat with a friend that included but is not unlimited to: 
> 
> [4:28:53 AM] Rhysie: zer0 could sit on daddy nomads lap  
> [4:30:11 AM] Spencer: daddy nomad  
> [4:30:13 AM] Spencer: domad  
> [4:30:29 AM] Rhysie: nomaddy


End file.
